A few days before she left for her freshman year of college, my daughter Lily bought a big, round swimming floaty that looked like a donut with sprinkles. She took it to a friend's pool party. 

I have a picture of her from the the party, standing on the diving board with her donut floaty on, not wanting to jump in--but wanting to jump in--but not wanting to jump in. She looks eighteen going on five.

Her friend Maggie, who is also off to her freshman year of college, told me about taking the picture of Lily. "She just stood there FOREVER! My arms got tired hanging on to my camera, waiting for her to jump in."

Lily's next steps away from home are part of a long process of steps away from home, starting with the first tentative baby step, progressing to a drunken-like toddler toddle, a run and so on. Now we find Lily on the diving board of life again, ready to step off--but not quite. 

Now that it is actually time to jump in the big-girl pool, I understand why she hesitates. As I've told my kids, becoming an adult can suck sometimes. Who wants to deal with aging parents and flaky neighbors?

But, taking responsibility for yourself and putting your opinions and beliefs out in the world is really awesome, even though it doesn't feel awesome all of the time.

Lily's dad and I are so excited for her. We can't wait to talk to her about her experiences in college. We know that once she jumps in the pool, she will come back to visit, but, she will be forever swimming away from us toward something new and unknown.

Your dad and I just want to let you know that your floaty is at home, in the garage, right where you dropped it.