May 1st

 

“Pull the Parachute Cord College Decision Day” has come and went.

 

Where is your kid going to college?

 

Ok. Hold up.

 

Maybe your kid isn’t going to college. (Gasp.) Really, that’s okay.

 

Maybe they are. That’s okay, too.

 

KNOW THIS: You can only make a decision (about college or anything else) with the information you have at the time! Really. You are making the best decision about your future with the information you have RIGHT NOW. So, if it doesn’t work out, remember, you DO NOT need to beat yourself up about making the wrong choice. If it does work out, HUZZAH! Pat yourself on the back. It worked out and that is to be celebrated!

 

Maybe you are super excited that your child is going to college and you think it will go really well for them. Maybe you are already concerned that college may not be the best idea for you kid, but, is working at a pizza place and living at home with you a better option?

 

Maybe you are already planning a gap year with them.

 

Maybe they were accepted to college out of state, but they are getting cold feet and think maybe they don’t want to leave home after all.

 

It’s complicated.

 

Maybe you are still biting your nails waiting for your financial aid award letter. Your kid REALLY wants to go to their first choice college. The first choice college costs A LOT more money than the second choice school. What should you do? How much should you go in debt? How much should they go in debt?

 

It’s complicated.

 

To this stress, add in the fact that many students DO NOT graduate from college in four years. In fact, many of them go for a year or two, move home and work, and then either go to a different college or try something else. This is very common.

 

Do not be surprised if this happens to you. I am working through it with one of my children right now.

 

While chatting with a friend of mine recently, we reflected on our parent’s version of parenting us when we were graduating from high school.

 

Here is what we did at eighteen:

• We graduated from high school or we didn’t.

• Either way, we moved out of the house.

• We went to college or we went to work. If we went to work, we could afford a place to live.

• Either way, our parents were pretty much done parenting us.

 

So, as a parent at this time of year, my heart goes out to you. It really does. And my heart goes out to your high school senior. Making a decision about where to go to college or not to go to college is hard.

 

The teenage way of dealing with making decisions is often to avoid making decisions. The parent way of dealing with making a decision about post-secondary plans it to ask their child about it--a lot. This makes for happy evenings spent at home--not.

 

So, if you are exhausted or elated or wondering if your child is actually going to graduate from high school at all at this point, remember, it’s complicated. It really, really is.

 

Jenna Klein

 

P.S. As always, if you like what you see in the Klein College Advising and Academic Coaching newsletter, please share it with friends and family. They can join our merry band of baffled parents right here. This parenting thing is done best through commiseration and the support of other non-judgemental adults.